英文幽默故事_英文幽默故事初一

1.英语幽默小故事50字左右（带翻译）

2.英语老师让课前三分钟演讲，求一篇比较有寓意，较幽默的英文语小故事

3.英文幽默故事

4.急需提供英文故事

5.求英文幽默小故事 少一点 越少越好 带中文翻译

6.英语小故事100字一下

7.幽默英文故事带翻译

8.幽默 英文故事

以下是一些风趣幽默的英文绘本推荐：

1."TheDaytheCrayonsQuit"byDrewDaywalt-这本绘本讲述了一群彩色蜡笔决定罢工的故事，以幽默的方式表达了孩子们对不公平待遇的抗议。

2."CapsforSale"byEsphyrSlobodkina-这本绘本讲述了一个卖帽子的商人如何利用幽默和想象力吸引顾客的故事，充满了滑稽和搞笑的场景。

3."TheCatintheHat"byDr.Seuss-这是一本经典的儿童绘本，讲述了一只顽皮的猫在孩子们家里制造混乱的故事，充满了幽默和趣味。

4."WheretheWildThingsAre"byMauriceSendak-这本绘本讲述了一个男孩的冒险故事，他进入了一个充满奇幻生物的世界，充满了幽默和想象力。

5."GreenEggsandHam"byDr.Seuss-这是另一本经典的儿童绘本，讲述了一个名叫乔治的小男孩如何试图说服别人吃绿色鸡蛋和火腿的故事，充满了幽默和重复的韵律。

6."GregHeffley'sFamilyVacation"byJeffKinney-这本绘本是《DiaryofaWimpyKid》系列的其中一本，讲述了主人公格雷格和他的家人度的故事，充满了幽默和家庭喜剧。

7."TheLorax"byDr.Seuss-这本绘本讲述了一个关于环保的故事，通过幽默和夸张的方式传达了保护环境的重要性。

这些绘本都以幽默和有趣的方式吸引孩子们的注意力，让他们在阅读中享受乐趣。无论是故事情节还是插图，它们都能给孩子们带来欢乐和笑声。

英语幽默小故事50字左右（带翻译）

The Old Cat

An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.

Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I he worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."

译文

老猫

一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。

于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”

A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good les at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those les; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the les and threw them away into the dust.

He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river."

He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the les, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.

Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to he them at some other time.

译文

一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果，他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我很好吃的东西。”然后他拿起苹果，一把扔到土里去。

他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能渡过河。”

他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的，他找到苹果，很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。

不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。

The City Mouse and the Country Mouse

Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would he nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city."

The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid.

After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and hy, than to be rich and afraid."

译文

城里老鼠和乡下老鼠

从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。很多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是，城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢？你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，还会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家看看。”

乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见很大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑！快跑！猫来了！”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。

过了一会儿，他们出来了。当他们出来时，乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里，我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在，比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说，要好些。”

Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?

Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".

老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?

汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I ge you yesterday?"

"I ge it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

英语老师让课前三分钟演讲，求一篇比较有寓意，较幽默的英文语小故事

Q: Why won’t the elephant use the computer?

为什么大象不玩电脑？

A: He’s afraid of the mouse!

他害怕老鼠！

鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。

mouse [ma?s]?n. 鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人

2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。

"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."

"Oh, don't worry! All you he to remember is not to smoke in the next few days." The doctor ?said.

一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。

“医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。”

“哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。

3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.?

He was brought to the hospital.?

His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."?

"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.

他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."

医生说:"我怕他已经死了."

听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."

妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.?

He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"?

And God says: "A penny".

Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"?

And God says: "a second",?

Then the man says: "God, can I he a penny?"

And God says "In a second".

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.

他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"

上帝回答:"一便士."

男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"

上帝说:"一秒钟."

最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"

上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that hen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What hened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I he his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

英文幽默故事

这是我在“演讲之家”官方上看到的小故事！

Big Head

“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I he a big head”

“Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You he a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”

“Where's the shopping bag?”

“I hen't got one,use your hat.”

大脑袋

“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”

“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”

“购物袋在哪？”

“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”

如果觉得不错！望纳！

急需提供英文故事

① 英语幽默故事

Peter

dozed

off

while

his

teacher

was

talking.

老师正在讲课，彼得打起瞌睡来了。

Teacher:

Peter！Tell

us,

what's

the

biggest

in

the

world?

老师：彼得！你说说，世界上什么最大？

Peter:

Well,

well....eyelids....

彼得:

嗯……嗯……眼皮……

Teacher:

What？Eyelids？

老师：什么？眼皮？

Peter:

Yes,

sir.

Because

as

soon

as

I

shut

my

eyes,

the

eyelids

cover

everything

of

the

world.

彼得：是的，老师。因为我眼睛一闭，眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了

Late

one

night

at

the

insane

asylum

(疯人院）one

inmate

shouted,

"I

am

Napoleon!"

Another

one

said,

"How

do

you

know?"

The

first

inmate

said,

"God

told

me!"

Just

then,

a

voice

from

another

room

shouted,

"I

did

not!"

疯人院

一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说："我是拿破仑！"另一个说："你怎么知道？"第一个人说："上帝对我说的！"一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来："我没说！"

② 英文幽默故事

Marriage Proposal to Bernard Shaw

Once a beautiful and dissolute British actress wrote to propose marriage to Bernard Shaw． She said she did not mindBernard Shaw's old age and ugliness because he was a genius． And if they could bine the beauty of the woman with the talents of the great man，that would be greatly harmonious． “With your wisdom and my earance，our children must be perfect．”

Bernard Shaw answered，in a letter，that her imagination wassplendid，“But，what if the children take my earance and yourwisdom？”

向肖伯纳求婚

英国有位美貌风流的女演员，曾写信向肖伯纳求婚。她说，因为他是个天才，她不嫌肖伯纳年迈丑陋。如能使女郎的美貌和超人的天才结合，那该是多么协调啊。“咱们的后代有你的智慧和我的美貌，那一定是十全十美了。”

肖伯纳给她回了一封信说，她的想象很是美妙，“可是，如生下的孩子外貌象我，而智慧又象你，那又该怎么办呢？”

③ 英语简短幽默故事

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that hen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

Q: What's the difference beeen a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can he fleas, but a flea can't he monkeys.

猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll he to charge you enty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

昂贵的代价

牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？

牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了。

④ 英语幽默小故事50字左右（带翻译）

Q: Why won’t the elephant use the puter?

为什么大象不玩电脑？

A: He’s afraid of the mouse!

他害怕老鼠！

鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。

mouse [ma?s]n. 鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人

2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。

"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."

"Oh, don't worry! All you he to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." The doctor said.

一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。

“医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。”

“哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。

3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.

He was brought to the hospital.

His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."

"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.

他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."

医生说:"我怕他已经死了."

听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."

妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.

He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"

And God says: "A penny".

Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"

And God says: "a second",

Then the man says: "God, can I he a penny?"

And God says "In a second".

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.

他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"

上帝回答:"一便士."

男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"

上帝说:"一秒钟."

最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"

上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that hen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What hened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I he his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

⑤ 英语幽默故事

Delicious！

A Hollywood procer was determined to give his mothera birthday gift that would be better than any his brothers weregiving her． He heard about an amazing bird which could talk inelve languages and sing ten famous operas． He immediately bought the bird and sent it to his mother． It cost him＄50，000．

The day after her birthday，he phoned his mother．“What did you think of the bird， Mother？” he asked eagerly．His mother replied，“Delcious！”

说的是一个人花了很多钱买了一只鸟，送给他妈妈，过了一时间儿子问他鸟怎么样，他妈妈说“很美味！”

呵呵~~

字数不够自己加点啦

⑥ 英语简短幽默故事

talking

clock

会说话的钟

while

proudly

showing

off

his

new

apartment

to

friends,

a

college

student

led

the

way

into

the

den.

"what

is

the

big

brass

gong

and

hammer

for?"

one

of

his

friends

asked.

"that

is

the

talking

clock,"

the

man

replied.

"how's

it

work?"

"watch,"

the

man

said

and

proceeded

to

give

the

gong

an

ear

shattering

pound

with

the

hammer.

suddenly,

someone

screamed

from

the

other

side

of

the

wall,

"knock

it

off,

you

idiot!

it's

o

o'clock

in

the

morning!"

一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的？”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的”，他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这 *** ！现在是凌晨两点钟了！”

参考资料：

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⑦ 英语幽默小故事

Once o hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to he ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"

两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”

⑧ 英文版的幽默故事（不要太长）

Nail

or

Fly?

An

old

gentleman

whose

eyesight

was

failing

came

to

stay

in

a

hotel

room

with

a

bottle

of

wine

in

each

hand.

On

the

wall

there

was

a

fly

which

he

took

for

a

nail.

So

the

moment

he

hung

them

on,

the

bottles

fell

broken

and

the

wine

spilt

all

over

the

floor.

When

a

waitress

discovered

what

had

hened,

she

showed

deep

sympathy

for

him

and

decided

to

do

him

a

four.

So

the

next

morning

when

he

was

out

taking

a

walk

in

the

roof

garden,

she

hammered

a

nail

exactly

where

the

fly

had

stayed.

Now

the

old

man

entered

is

room.

The

*** ell

of

the

spilt

wine

reminded

him

of

the

accident.

When

he

looked

up

at

the

wall,

he

found

the

fly

was

there

again!

He

walked

to

it

carefully

adn

sled

it

with

all

his

strength.

On

hearing

a

loud

cry,

the

kind-hearted

waitress

rushed

in.

To

er

great

surprise,

the

poor

old

man

was

there

sitting

on

the

floor,

his

teeth

clenched

and

his

right

hand

bleeding!

钉子还是苍蝇?

一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。

于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。

这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。

求英文幽默小故事 少一点 越少越好 带中文翻译

傻子春天

旁白：Long time ago, there's an idiot. His name is Billy. He is too stupid, so he doesn't he any friend. He is always a lone, but he likes to go to the fo-rest. There are many animals there. One day, the idiot goes to forest. There are birds, deers, rabbits beside him. Suddenly, There's a genius, Pook jump-ed to him.

傻子：Hi! The music is great. Would you please to teaching me？傻子作恳求状

精灵：Ok! No problem. But I am hungry now.精灵作饥饿状

傻子：Wait a minute! Here you are! 傻子拿出面包

精灵：~~ Delicious! Thank you! My name is Pook. Nice to meet you.精灵作好吃及满足状精灵脱帽示好

傻子：My name is Billy. Nice to meet you.

精灵：Do you like it?

精灵：Come on follow me. I will show you something.◎精灵开始教傻子吹笛.

傻子：This tree?

精灵：Yes! Go on! Go on!

傻子：Wow! What a lovely duck.

精灵：You can he it. This is a gift for you.

傻子：Thank you very much.傻子取出鸦后十分惊喜

※下音乐（森林狂想曲）

◎傻子拿著提篮及鸦子、和精灵、动物们快乐退场

PART 2 场景： 皇宫 (道具：椅子、城墙、) （道具：矛、搏浪鼓、医药箱、听诊器）

公主坐在舞台上

◎国王走来走去手足无措状 ◎公主面无表情、百般无聊国王非常惊慌焦急状

对白（人物：国王、皇后、公主、侍卫、御医）

国王：Smile! Please smile

国王：Oh my poor little girl. Why do you never smile What’s matter with y-ou?

皇后：Please don’t worry my dear. I he a good idea. Where is the doctor?

国王：Oh yes! Doctor! Doctor! Hurry up！Hurry up！

西御医：Your Majesty! Princess is very well.

中御医：I’m sorry. Maybe she is just unhy.

国王：Get away and never come here again.

皇后：No! I don’t believe. What shall we do?

国王：All right! All right! Don’t cry. Anyway I will do my best.

◎国王对著天空宣誓 ◎退场：国王牵著皇后哭哭啼啼 公主冷漠 侍卫雄壮威武

PART 3场景：大街（道具：菜篮、花篮、水果篮、城墙、鸦、笛）

※下音乐（土耳其进行曲）

◎大街人来人往热闹状

对白：人物：（3个路人、侍卫、傻子、精灵）

旁白：There are many people on this street, is very noisy.

侍卫：Pay attention please! Pay attention please!

If somebody can make our princess laugh, he can marry with her. Our holy king will never regret!

傻子：The princess is so beautiful. She is my dream lover.

路人铮：Look him！Such a dirty man. He wants to marry with our princess.

路人雯：Don’t be silly. It’s impossible.

傻子：Yes….They are right, how can I get her? It just a dream.

精灵：Don’t be sad my friend. Trust me you can make it.

路人潘：Oh the duck is so cute. May I he a look? Oh ~ the duck is stick on my hands. I can’t put it down. Somebody help me.

路人雯：Cool down! I’m coming!

路人铮: I’m coming! I’m coming!

PART 4场景：皇宫内外 道具：（卫、笛、城墙）

※下音乐（森林狂想曲 ）◎国王一行人站在城墙上 ◎精灵领一排人上台

公主忍不住大笑 皇后欣喜貌

对白：( 傻子、国王、皇后、公主、精灵)

国王： Its noise what’s hening.

公主：It’s very funny.

皇后：Look! She is laughing. My child is laughing

国王：Thanks God! Take the man in.

侍卫：Yes my lord

国王：You made my daughter hy. What do you want?

I can give everything you want

傻子：well……I think….I mean……. If you don’t mind………

精灵：Please keep your words

皇后：Wait a minute! No I disagree. He is poor and stupid.

国王：Let me see.

公主：My dear father! If you regret Maybe I will never laugh in my whole life.

国王：Ok! Ok! Please don’t do it again. My sweet heart.

傻子：Would you like to marry with me?

公主：Yes I do.

精灵：It is wonderful. I told you : trust me you Can make it.

旁白：So they got married.

回答者：伊梦清雪 - 初入江湖 二级 3-11 15:00

给你两篇

第一篇 In the Air（幽默笑话）

“Let’s go to the fair, Matt,” his wife said, “We hen’t been anywhere for a long time.”

Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would he to spend money at the fair. At last he said, “All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything.”

they went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy ,but he would not let her spend any money.

then , in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.

“Fun flight!” the notice said, “$10 for 10 minutes.”

Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to he to pay for his wife, as well.

“I’ve only got $10,” he told the pilot. ( 飞行员). “Can my wife come with me for free?” The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said , “I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can he a free flight.”

Matt aGREed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.

the pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.

When the plane landed , the pilot said, “O.K. your wife didn’t make a sound . She can he her ride free.”

“Thank you,” Matt said. “it wasn’t easy for her, you know , especially (尤其 ) when she fell out.”

第二篇 A Leaf from Heen（寓言，后面有译文和生词）

HIGH up in THE clear, pure air flew an angel, with a flower plucked from the garden of heen. As he was kissing the flower a very little leaf fell from it and sunk down into the soft earth in the middle of a wood. It immediately took root, sprouted, and sent out shoots among the other plants.

“What a ridiculous little shoot!” said one. “No one will recognize it; not even THE thistle nor the stinging-nettle.”

“It must be a kind of garden plant,” said anoTHEr; and so they sneered and despised the plant as a thing from a garden.

“Where are you coming?” said THE tall thistles whose lees were all armed with thorns. “It is stupid nonsense to allow yourself to shoot out in this way; we are not here to support you.”

Winter came, and THE plant was covered with snow, but the snow glittered over it as if it had sunshine beneath as well as above.

When spring came, THE plant eared in full bloom: a more beautiful object than any other plant in the forest. And now the professor of botany presented himself, one who could explain his knowledge in black and white. He examined and tested the plant, but it did not belong to his system of botany, nor could he possibly find out to what class it did belong. “It must be some degenerate species,” said he; “I do not know it, and it is not mentioned in any system.”

“Not known in any system!” repeated THE thistles and the nettles.

THE large trees which GREw round it saw the plant and heard the remarks, but they said not a word either good or bad, which is the wisest plan for those who are ignorant.

THEre passed through the forest a poor innocent girl; her heart was pure, and her understanding increased by her faith. Her chief inheritance had been an old Bible, which she read and valued. From its pages she heard the voice of God speaking to her, and telling her to remember what was said of Joseph's brethren when persons wished to injure her. “They imagined evil in their hearts, but God turned it to good.” If we suffer wrongfully, if we are misunderstood or despised, we must think of Him who was pure and holy, and who prayed for those who nailed Him to the cross, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

THE girl stood still before the wonderful plant, for the GREen lees exhaled a sweet and refreshing fragrance, and the flowers glittered and sparkled in the sunshine like colored flames, and the harmony of sweet sounds lingered round them as if each concealed within itself a deep fount of melody, which thousands of years could not exhaust. With pious gratitude the girl looked upon this glorious work of God, and bent down over one of the branches, that she might examine the flower and inhale the sweet perfume. Then a light broke in on her mind, and her heart expanded. Gladly would she he plucked a flower, but she could not overcome her reluctance to break one off. She knew it would so soon fade; so she took only a single green leaf, carried it home, and laid it in her Bible, where it remained ever green, fresh, and unfading. Between the pages of the Bible it still lay when, a few weeks afterwards, that Bible was laid under the young girl's head in her coffin. A holy calm rested on her face, as if the earthly remains bore the impress of the truth that she now stood in the presence of God.

In THE forest the wonderful plant still continued to bloom till it GREw and became almost a tree, and all the birds of passage bowed themselves before it.

“That plant is a foreigner, no dou,” said THE thistles and the burdocks. “We can never conduct ourselves like that in this country.” And the black forest snails actually spat at the flower.

THEn came the swineherd; he was collecting thistles and shrubs to burn them for the ashes. He pulled up the wonderful plant, roots and all, and placed it in his bundle. “This will be as useful as any,” he said; so the plant was carried away.

Not long after, THE king of the country suffered from the deepest melancholy. He was diligent and industrious, but employment did him no good. They read deep and learned books to him, and then the lightest and most trifling that could be found, but all to no purpose. Then they lied for advice to one of the wise men of the world, and he sent them a message to say that there was one remedy which would relieve and cure him, and that it was a plant of heenly origin which GREw in the forest in the king's own dominions. The messenger described the flower so that is earance could not be mistaken.

THEn said the swineherd, “I am afraid I carried this plant away from the forest in my bundle, and it has been burnt to ashes long ago. But I did not know any better.”

“You did not know, any better! Ignorance upon ignorance indeed!”

THE poor swineherd took these words to heart, for they were addressed to him; he knew not that there were others who were equally ignorant. Not even a leaf of the plant could be found. There was one, but it lay in the coffin of the dead; no one knew anything about it.

THEn the king, in his melancholy, wandered out to the spot in the wood. “Here is where the plant stood,” he said; “it is a sacred place.” Then he ordered that the place should be surrounded with a golden railing, and a stationed near it.

THE botanical professor wrote a long treatise about the heenly plant, and for this he was loaded with gold, which improved the position of himself and his family.

And this part is really THE most pleasant part of the story. For the plant had diseared, and the king remained as melancholy and sad as ever, but the sentry said he had always been so.

I. Reference Version (参考译文)

在稀薄的、清爽的空气中，有一个安琪儿拿着天上花园中的一朵花在高高地飞。当她在吻着这朵花的时候，有一小片花瓣落到树林中潮湿的地上。这花瓣马上就生了根，并且在许多别的植物中间冒出芽来。“这真是一根很滑稽的插枝。”别的植物说。蓟和荨麻都不认识它。

“这一定是花园里长的一种植物！”它们说，并且还发出一声冷笑。它们认为它是花园里的一种植物而开它的玩笑。但是它跟别的植物不同；它在不停地生长；它把长枝子向四面伸开来。“你要伸到什么地方去呢？”高大的蓟说。它的每片叶子都长满了刺。“你占的地方太多！这真是岂有此理！我们可不能扶持你呀！”

冬天来了；雪把植物盖住了。不过雪层上发出光，好像有太阳从底下照上来似的。在春天的时候，这棵植物开出花来；它比树林里的任何植物都要美丽。

这时来了一位植物学教授。他有许多学位来说明他的身份。他对这棵植物望了一眼，检验了一番；但是他发现他的植物体系内没有这种东西。他简直没有办法把它分类。“它是一种变种！”他说。“我不认识它，它不属于任何一科！”“不属于任何一科！”蓟和荨麻说。周围的许多大树都听到了这些话。它们也看出来了，这种植物不属于它们的系统。但是它们什么话也不说——不说坏话，也不说好话。对于傻子说来，这是一种最聪明的办法。

这时有一个贫苦的天真女孩子走过树林。她的心很纯洁；因为她有信心，所以她的理解力很强。她全部的财产只是一部很旧的《圣经》，不过她在每页书上都听见上帝的声音：如果有人想对你做坏事，你要记住约瑟的故事——“他们在心里想着坏事情，但是上帝把它变成最好的东西。”如果你受到委屈，被人误解或者被人侮辱，你只须记住上帝：他是一个最纯洁、最善良的人。他为那些讥笑他和把他钉上十字架的人祈祷：“天父，请原谅他们吧，他们不知道他们自己在做什么事情！”

女孩子站在这棵稀奇的植物面前——它的绿叶发出甜蜜和清新的香气，它的花朵在太阳光中射出五光十色的焰火般的光彩。每朵花发出一种音乐，好像它里面有一股音乐的泉水，几千年也流不尽。女孩子怀着虔诚的心情，望着造物主的这些美丽的创造。她顺手把一根枝条拉过来，细看它上面的花朵，闻一闻这些花朵的香气。她心里轻松起来，感到一种愉快。她很想摘下一朵花，但是她不忍把它折断，因为这样花就会凋谢了。她只是摘下一片绿叶。她把它带回家来，夹在《圣经》里。叶子在这本书里永远保持新鲜，从来没有凋谢。叶子就这样藏在《圣经》里。几个星期以后，当这女孩子躺在棺材里的时候，《圣经》 就放在她的头底下。她安静的脸上露出了一种庄严的、死后的虔诚的表情，好像她的这个尘世的躯壳，就说明她现在已经是在上帝面前。

但是那棵奇异的植物仍然在树林里开着花。它很快就要长成一棵树了。许多候鸟，特别是鹳鸟和燕子，都飞到这儿来，在它面前低头致敬。“这东西已经有点洋派头了！”蓟和牛蒡说。“我们这些本乡生长的植物从来没有这副样子！” 黑蜗牛实际上已经在这植物身上吐粘液了。

这时有一个猪倌来了。他正在集荨麻和蔓藤，目的是要把它们烧出一点灰来。这棵奇异的植物也被连根拔起来了，扎在一个柴捆里。“也叫它能够有点用处！”他说，同时他也就这样做了。

但是这个国家的君主多少年以来一直害着很重的忧郁病。他是非常忙碌和勤俭，但是这对他的病却没有什么帮助。人们念些深奥的书给他听，或念些世上最轻松的读物给他听，但这对他的病也没有什么好处。人们请教世界上一个最聪明的人，这人派来一个信使。信使对大家说，要减轻和治好国王的病，现在只有一种药方。“在国王的领土里，有一个树林里长着一棵来自天上的植物。它的形状是如此这般，人们决不会弄错。”这儿还附带有一张关于这棵植物的图解，谁一看就可以认得出来。“它不论在冬天或夏天都是绿的。人们只须每天晚上摘下一片新鲜的叶子，把它放在国王的额上，那么国王的头脑就会变得清新，他夜间就会做一个美丽的梦，他第二天也就会有精神了。”这个说明已经是够清楚了。所有的医生和那位植物学教授都到树林里去——是的，不过这棵植物在什么地方呢？

“我想我已经把它扎进柴捆里去了！”猪倌说，“它早就已经烧成灰了。别的事情我不知道！” “你不知道！”大家齐声说。“啊，愚蠢啊！愚蠢啊！你是多么伟大啊！”猪倌听到这话可能感到非常难过，因为这是专讲给他一个人听的。他们连一片叶子也没有找到。那唯一的一片叶子是藏在那个死女孩的棺材里，而这事情谁也不知道。

于是国王在极度的忧郁中亲自走到树林中的那块地方去。“那棵植物曾经在这儿生长过！”他说。“这是一块神圣的地方！”于是这块地的周围就竖起了一道金栏杆。有一个哨兵日夜在这儿站岗。

植物学教授写了一篇关于这棵天上植物的论文。他凭这篇论文得到了勋章。这对他说来是一件很愉快的事情，而且对于他和他的家庭也非常相称。

事实上这是这整个故事最有趣的一段，因为这棵植物不见了。国王仍然是忧郁和沮丧的。“不过他一直是这样。”哨兵说。

New Words and Expressions 生词和词组

1. pluck v. ，摘

2. sprout v. 发芽，抽条

3. sneer v. 嘲笑，讥笑

4. degenerate a. 退化的，变性的

5. brethren n. （古）兄弟，代指约瑟

6. swineherd n. 猪倌

7. melancholy n. 忧郁，意气消沉

8. dominion n. 统治，领土

9. sentry n. 卫兵，警卫

10.treatise n. （专题）论文

回答者：刺猬喂喂 - 大魔法师 九级 3-11 15:08

How a Colt Crossed the River

One day, a colt took a bag of wheat to the mill. As he was running with the bag on his back, he came to a small river. The colt could not decide whether he could cross it. Looking around, he saw a cow grazing nearby. He asked, “Aunt Cow, could you tell me if I can cross the river?” The cow told him that he could and that the river was not very deep, just knee high.

The colt was crossing the river when a squirrel jumped down fron a tree and stopped him. The squirrel shouted, “Colt, stop! You’ll drown! One of my friends drowned just yesterday in the river.” Not knowing what to do, the colt went home to consult his mum.

He told his mum his experience on the way. His mother said, “My child, don’t always listen to others. You’d better go and try yourself. Then you’ll know what to do.” Later, at the river,the squirrel stopped the colt again. “Little horse, it’s too dangerous!” “No, I want to try myself,” answered the colt. Then he crossed the river carefully.

You see, real knowledge comes from practice.

中文翻译：

小马过河

一天，一匹小马驮着麦子去磨坊。当它驮着口袋向前跑去时，突然发现一条小河挡住了去路。小马为难了，这可怎么办呢？它向四周望了望，看见一头奶牛在河边吃草。小马问道：“牛阿姨，请您告诉我，这条河我能趟过去吗？”奶牛回答说：“水很浅，刚到膝盖。”

小马正准备过河，突然从树上跳下一只松鼠，拦住它大叫道：“小马，别过河！你会被淹死的。昨天，我的一个伙伴就在这条河里淹死啦！”小马不知如何是好，于是决定回家问问妈妈。

小马把路上的经历告诉了妈妈。妈妈说：“孩子，光听别人说是不行的，你自己亲自去试一试，就知道答案了。”小马回到河边，刚要下水，松鼠又大叫起来：“小马，你不要命啦？”小马说：“让我自己试试吧。”他一面回答一面下了河，小心地趟了过去。

这下明白了吧，实践才能出真知

英语小故事100字一下

1 理所当然

Taken for Granted

THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word "Sex" had been spelled with an "o". One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to "Sox": "Usually brown."

某学校发给学生的健康调查表里有个错别字——把“性别”的“性”字写成了“袜”字。一位母亲在为她的儿子填写表格时，在“袜别”的那栏填上了：“棕色为主。”

[注] 英语 中（性）与sox（袜）只有一个字母之差。

2 一只小猫

Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.

" What\'s in your box?" asked the friend.

"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I\'ve been dreaming about mice at night and I\'m so scared! This cat is to catch them."

"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.

"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.

布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。 “盒子里装的是什么　？”朋友问道。 “一只小猫，” 布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。” “可老鼠都是想的呀。”朋友说。 “小猫也是想的。” 布朗夫人小声说道。

3 约会

When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started wing hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she wed and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.

"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"

在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位**每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位**看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗？” “对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。 “我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她？”

幽默英文故事带翻译

英语幽默故事简短，内容诙谐幽默，情节生动有趣，相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。

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英语小故事分享：

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. a woman is driving down the same road.

As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "pig!!"

The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "witch!!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

if only men would listen.

不知道如何选择英语机构，可以百度咨询“阿卡索vivi老师”；

如果想下载免费英语，可以百度搜索“阿卡索论坛”。

幽默 英文故事

I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why he you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？” “没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。” “I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall he to charge you enty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example? John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？ 约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。 The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly o hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" "I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We he worn them off sitting here so long.". 教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？” “我来试试看，”一位老太太说。 “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。” 更多的点这个链接 //learning.sohu/yingyuyoumo.s

参考资料：

//learning.sohu/yingyuyoumo.s

披着狮皮的驴The ass in the lions skin

The ass in the lion's skin

An ass once found a lion's skin. He put it on, and walked towards the village.

All fled when he came near,both men and animals.

The ass felt quite proud. He lifted his voice and brayed, but then everyone knew him.

His owner came up and ge him a sound whipping.

Shortly afterwards,a fox came up to him and said, Ah, I knew it was you by your voice.

披着狮皮的驴

有头驴发现一张狮子皮，他披着狮子皮走进村庄。

所有的人和动物见到他走过来都逃走了。

驴感到很得意，他高声地嘶叫，却被人认了出来。他的主人跑过来打了他一顿。

不久，一只狐狸也跑过来，对他说：“哦，你一张嘴我就知道你是驴。”

寓意 外表虽然可以暂时掩盖一个人的缺点，但它很容易被揭穿。

狗和影子(The Dog and the Shadow)

It hened that a Dog had got a piece of meat and was carrying it home in his mouth to eat it in peace. Now, on his way home he had to cross a plank lying across a running brook. As he crossed, he looked down and saw his own shadow reflected in the water beneath. Thinking it was another dog with another piece of meat, he made up his mind to he that also. So he made a snap at the shadow in the water, but as he opened his mouth the piece of meat fell out, dropped into the water and was never seen more.

一只狗嘴里衔着一块肉，走过一条河上面的桥，看见他自己在水里的影子，以为是另一只狗，那时狗衔着的肉，比他自己的还要大一倍。因此他仍掉自己的那一块，地扑向那只狗，想夺到那一块较大的肉。结果两头都落了空，因为他想要抓取在水中的那一块，只不过是一个影子，而原来的那一块，也被水冲走了。

Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow.

谨记，切莫因追逐幻影而丢失已有的东西。

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Joke of Today

Who's More Polite?

A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite.

The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies.

But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

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